Coping With Your New Service Member Being Away
Coping with a new service member being away can be a challenging experience, especially if this is your first time being away from them for an extended period of times. Whether your loved one just graduated from bootcamp and is continuing their training, or they just got to their Permanent Duty Station (PDS), we have to pull ourselves up by the boot straps to hold ourselves together as well as be supportive for our service member. Here are 4 helpful tips to help navigate this new journey:
1) Familiarize yourself with what is to come. Talk with your service member about their roadmap and where they will be next. Once they reach their PDS, things will calm down a ton as they will spend most of their time at that one duty station. They will also have regular freedoms and privileges, and it won't feel so foreign and restricted. Knowing where they will be and what to expect can help eliminate anxiety and confusion.
2) Realize that the distance will take some getting used to. If this is your first time being away from your loved one for an extended period of time, this can be especially hard. You’ll probably feel unsure about how you’re even going to make it through the day some days. But know that the distance is temporary. Eventually they will find their own routine and groove, and so will you. It’s important to recognize and support that they have embarked on this journey of independence, and they need all the support that they can get.
3) Make yourself a countdown. This may be more helpful for some as opposed to others. If you’re not exactly sure when you’ll get to see them again, breaking the time up into smaller milestones can be a huge help. For me personally when my husband was deployed, I put in each port stop or other small milestone, such as a birthday or other holiday. So, instead of “he comes home in 7 months” it was “only 6 more port stops until he’s home.” This really helped me to mentally break up the time so that it did not feel so overwhelming, and maybe it can help you too. The app that I’ve always used is simply called “Countdown.” You can find it for free in the app store, and the countdown clock is always running. Not only that, but you can add multiple countdowns and milestones in there. Try it out!
4) Find yourself a support system. If you’re on this page, you’re already halfway there! This is the new normal for everyone, so finding yourself a support system is absolutely essential. Some days, you’ll only be able to make it through using your support system. Other days, someone will need you as their support. We all do our part as military families to lend a hand (or a shoulder to cry on) to one another in times of need. If you haven’t already, I also would encourage you to join our Marine Corps Community Facebook support group, linked here.