Dealing With Stigmas (*cough cough*, cheating?)

If I had $1 for every time I heard “they all cheat while on deployment” I could probably afford to buy-out my husband’s contract. Seriously though, military life is already difficult enough, now add on all of these other anxiety-triggering stigmas and it’s a recipe for disaster. Plus, it helps no one. Keep reading to hear more about why these stigmas exist and how you can work through them!

If you haven’t heard about this yet, unfortunately you probably soon will. Other people (and unfortunately, most of the time it’s other spouses who perpetuate this idea) are bound to pounce on you with their opinion that your service member will cheat while away, because it’s happened to them and “they all do it.” But, remember this: hurt people, hurt people. Much of this idea is perpetuated by people who have been cheated on, or people who have cheated themselves! And because of their situation, they are determined to inflict doubt and anxiety onto others. Now, is there any truth to some of this? Yes, of course. But you know who else can cheat while away for work? Doctors. Lawyers. Salespeople. Pretty much, anyone. This is all to say that people do not cheat based on their profession! If your spouse was faithful before the military, or has always been faithful, joining the military will not magically make him a cheater.

It’s important to keep in mind that only you know your spouse better than any other stranger who is trying to imply that you’ll be cheated on while they’re away. In times of doubt or anxiety, keeping this in the forefront of your mind is essential. If you do have doubts or anxieties that you want to talk about with your service member, it’s completely okay (in my opinion) to express those as long as it is done in the right way. In fact, I think being able to be open and honest with each other about these concerns is actually very healthy.

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Pre-Deployment Arguments… Are They Normal?